Finding Myself
Looking back at the things in life which I’ve gone through. Whereby I made some good moves, as well as bad ones. Not to say I’m pretty much proud of it, but never the less I guess that’s life. And I wonder the things that I did in the past could alter the path of where I am now.
As I finished putting up an album on my engagement as well as wedding, I couldn’t help but wonder how in the world I was able to pay off the whole thing without having to even exceeding the budget we pretty much expected. But thank God that He was gracious enough to give us more than what we ask for. And I’ve pretty much received quite a lot of “nice” things back then. Hehehe, never the less I believe it’s His blessings.
I was having lunch with a friend this afternoon. Apparently we were discussing a few certain things, and he pretty much ask on how’s business and any future plans. As I pretty much explain him about my current situation as well as what I have planned for the future. He pretty much gave me an insightful advice regarding the current situation. No doubt famine will strike, but Christ will always be there to ensure we’ll be safe. But looking back these past few months, especially when recession pretty much began to hit us here in Malaysia. Sales have been dropping, and expenses has been increasing. But surprisingly, there has never been a day when we couldn’t live by without worrying. Each time, when we need to pay the bills, or rental some how or rather we have enough to cover with also surplus as well. So basically what he said to me this afternoon was pretty much a confirmation on what I need to do in the near future. So it’s all good.
Looking back again, I guess I’ve been surrounded by really good friends who pretty much look out for me whenever I’m in trouble. No doubt, I pretty much have my own life now especially with a family. It makes me realized even more how important they are to me, and I couldn’t afford to have anything happen to me. And pretty much making sure that I’ll always be there for them when they need me to. One thing for sure, I’m no longer that “Hantu Malam” that goes out and come back until wee hours in the morning. As I also had stopped drinking for about 5 years already, because well.. I just stopped. Lol.
No doubt there were dark ages during my life, but I’m pretty glad on how things turned out the way it is today. To have someone whom I can cherish, and love till the very day I grow old. And also to be able to share responsibility with Deluxe in bringing up our daughter. Well, for all the bad things that I’ve done in the past I’m sure glad that I never went against my parents. No doubt, I have made some stupid things in life, or said something that could have hurt them but at least I always give in and apologize in the end. And everything turned out well in the end. Which pretty much reminded me there was once when my dad wanted to bring us to an outing, and all of us pretty much had a plan of our own. And I guess he was so disappointed, and pretty much bummed out because it was a public holiday and that was the only time he could spend time with us. So the very next day, I went and get my younger brother and sister up to help me prepare breakfast for them. I think we had eggs, red beans and sausages for breakfast, which we pretty much cook up and prepared. And despite the fact that I’ve also call off my plans with my friends, I was glad that I was able to spend time with them.
Well, time is pretty much not on our side and one day eventually they would leave us. In the past, when we were scolded or even caned for being disobedient and thought probably they didn’t had a good day at work and used us as a channel for release. But never the less, they loved us dearly and I could understand how painful it was for them whenever they were unhappy with the decision that we make in life. I remember what my parents would always say during their birthdays, or Christmas on what would they want. Their answer will always be the same, whereby “I don’t want anything, just as long as you all be good that will be fine for me”. I guess the pride of every parents is that all their children would be successful in life, so that they wouldn’t need to worry too much about us. So how do we measure if we are successful in life? I guess for them it’s not by the amount of money that we make. But rather being able to support ourselves, and able to give them back what they really deserve. Our love…
Filed Under: Life
